Free to be you

Choices

     Every second of every day for all of our life we make choices. Some carry more weight than others but nonetheless we decide how, what, when and why repeatedly day in and day out. So much so that over time we can lose appreciation for being able to command where our choices take us. For instance, back in time, I was freshly divorced discovering online dating, full of hope, full of life having finally followed my gut and done something that I knew was best for me and mine. In that moment, the possibilities were endless but before I could communicate with all of the eligible online bachelors, I had to create an email address. The family email account was not a good fit for this particular situation. Cozied up on a staycation I began to think about how to describe myself and LovelyByChoice was born. To me being Lovely is a cognitive choice I make as often as possible but I acknowledge there is a little bit of spice pulsing through my veins that presents itself when necessary. Let the online dating commence! First suitor I matched with was an attractive officer who self-proclaimed his marriage and his desire to have someone “special” on the side that would allow him to be his true romantic self since his wife did not have a romantic bone in her body. Choices people! In that moment in my heart through my soul I knew I would never sit well in second place. It is not in my nature and felt it to my core without even mentioning the obvious, a married man searching for a side piece. Keep in mind I had just defined myself by choosing to be Lovely and now I chose to turn and run in the opposite direction.

Sharing

     Sharing this experience is important for a couple of reasons: one being that It helped me explain what LovelyByChoice means to me and how it came to fruition, two it laid the groundwork for where I want to take you……. inward. Where my best work comes from, where my confidence originates, where my inner voice is heard the loudest; within me. Choices are easily influenced by friends, family, society, and anything else clouding your decision-making process. If we start to make choices to please anyone other than ourselves, we can stray from our truest versions. The more we stray, give in, hide, or numb our true self the longer and harder it can be to find our way back. Do not lose yourself; make the choices that build you into the person you want to be. Be you with every choice you make. Have confidence. Decide for yourself and try not to apologize but instead explain how you picked the option you are most comfortable with. Guilt is retroactive the more confidence you have with your Lovely self the stigmas begin to unravel. Hear me roar; do what you love, build your life around your passion, be the person you were made to be and remember you know you best. That being said I hope you find your inner voice and listen to it; I hope you are filled with confidence and help others find theirs, but most importantly I hope you share your Lovely all over the place because we are and always will be…… LovelyByChoice.